Since I started writing this blog (a couple of months before my 50^th birthday three years ago) I’ve been dawdling about, losing weight VERY slowly (about 30 pounds in those 3 years). Quite a loss, I guess, but still I was sitting in the “obese” category, with a way to go. But I’d always been pretty smug thinking that, because I kept well, didn’t eat junk, didn’t drink or smoke, was vegetarian, kept quite active, I was healthy…or so I thought.

Now last year was a very bad year for our family. Dad had to move into residential care as he has Alzheimer’s and Mum wasn’t coping with his care and her health deteriorated. Sadly, my mum passed away a few months later. Like I said, it was a very bad year.

After a Christmas of chocolate-comfort-eating and generally not paying attention to my food, things came to a head just after the New Year 2011. I felt well, but decided it was time to get back a little focus.

In the past I’d always checked my blood sugar about once a month, but with all that was going on, that was something else that had slipped. It had always been fine, so I wasn’t worried. So I did the test. The reading was VERY high. Convinced the blood glucose meter was broken or the test strips out of date, I did it again – same result. Slight panic but still thinking it was wonky, I got Hubby to do his. His was fine… I could feel the colour drain from my face as I realised what that probably meant. My Mum was diabetic and my liking for all things carby, combined with my excess weight – I was a prime candidate, a diabetic time bomb.  I’m not sure now why I’d been so smug thinking I had the right to such good health, but I did. BUT THAT WAS THE FRIGHT I NEEDED TO MAKE ME CHANGE MY WAYS!

Now I probably should have gone straight to my doctor, but I was determined not to be stuck on drugs and given that dreaded Diabetic label, so I set about trying to bring down my blood glucose level first, nature’s way, with diet. I decided to give myself a little time to see if I could get it down to normal, THEN I would go to the doctor. There and then I stopped eating sweet treats and set about carefully measuring the “good” carbs I was eating. Now, being a vegetarian and having a gut loathing of the high protein Atkins type faddy diet, I was actually struggling to come up with a sensible eating plan that didn’t involve replacing the rice/pasta/potatoes/bread with cheese or eggs or processed rubbish. I spent ages analysing things.  I decided to change the proportion of my favourite dishes, upping the veg and bean or legumes quantities and reducing the carbs. For the first time in my life I was struggling to find enough to eat! But I persevered. I didn’t feel hungry or even particularly inclined to waver. My husband is always a great support – but he didn’t have to nag me at all!

It worked. My blood sugar level quickly reduced to almost normal. My weight started to drop. But then, the weirdest thing happened, my eyesight went wonky. In the space of a week or two, I went from being able to read the newspaper without specs to not even seeing the headlines clearly! I was seeing double in the distance. I visited an optician who reassured me my eyes were “normal” and not to worry. Convinced it had to be connected, I looked online again and discovered the really helpful http://www.diabetes.co.uk/index.html and also some other articles which explained that dramatic changes in blood glucose levels (up or down) can result in the lens of the eye absorbing fluid and changing shape, hence the bad vision. The good news is that it settles back to normal, the bad news it can take weeks, months or even years! I’m happy to say I’ve been lucky and mine settled within a few weeks. The other thing I hadn’t realised was that just BEING overweight means your body struggles with the amount of insulin it needs to produce, amongst other things. There’s degrees of good health I know, but I’d never really acknowledged the danger I was in, despite my “healthy living”.

The other thing I did was re-read some of my “health” books that were lurking in the study. In particular “Eat to live” by Dr Joel Fuhrman, as I remembered him advocating the sort of diet I found myself on. I discovered he has a web-site http://www.drfuhrman.com/ with lots of great advice and some amazing “before and afters”. It probably isn’t for everyone (though it probably should be!!) It’s strict. But hey! It works!! 

So I adapted what I was doing slightly to pretty much follow his plan. It’s refreshing that you’ve to eat “at least” such and such an amount of food, rather than a whole string of “no more than”s! I’ll not go into the details but please look at his site, or read the book. His arguments are very persuasive and, truly, the regime is much easier than it sounds!

Tomato and bean soup, lovely veggie stews, chillis & curries, some nuts & seeds, salads, fruit. There really is loads to eat and the most amazing thing is I don’t miss the excess carbs.  I’ll not pretend that the sight of a big dod of carrot cake isn’t tempting, but knowing all the horrors that diabetes can bring, it’s just not worth the short-term pleasure of eating it!

So I’m happy to say that I am now another 20 or so pounds lighter in less than 3 months and my glucose levels are normal, so much so I’ve not gone to the docs as I said I would as everything is under control. (Don’t scold!) I’ve a way to go yet, but I WILL get there! I have already dropped out of the “obese” category for the first time in probably about 30 years! (I could never be accused of being a yo-yo dieter, my weight just snuck up on me over the years. But it’s well on its way now, for sure!)

Forgot to mention that I’m more active too. As my weight drops everything is easier to do. A brisk walk the mile or so  up and down hill to town is a dawdle and the eliptical is no longer gathering dust!

Happy days, as they say!! My mum would be proud of me. That makes me smile. My husband IS proud of me. That makes me smile too! I’d be prouder of me if I hadn’t got in this state in the first place! But, I can’t change the past – only the present and hopefully the future!

So folks, if you haven’t already – check your blood glucose levels, even if you feel fine. I think some of the chemists do tests for free. And check out Dr Fuhrman’s site – it could save your life!

OK I haven’t been cycling for ages, but I’ve lost some weight since our last outing and I’ve been doing a fair bit of exercise, so I should be fitter than when I started out.

SO I expected to do much better than before, BUT I DIDN’T.

I made mistakes changing gear (a non-driving-woman-thing, no doubt!), my bum hurt, I got pretty out of breath, I was too hot & sweaty, my feet were sore (new cycling shoes), I felt wobbly and pathetic. I was disappointed in myself, but never for one tiny moment did I wish I wasn’t doing what we were doing.

But now I’m mulling over in my head how I got on…. am I’m a whinger or am I positive in the face of adversity? Not that it matters really, in the scheme of things, but I’m not sure of the answer.

So, positive or negative? Does it even matter?

Hubby says I think too much – maybe he’s right!

A picture of the errigal cooker from the catalogue. Will post a picture of ours later, our kitchen won't look quite so posh!

Haven’t written anything for an age, but had to document the arrival of our new range/cooker/stove. It’s a Stanley Errigal and first impressions; it’s the bees-knees. It’s a wood fired cooker. There’s something immensely satisfying about cooking (even if it’s only boiling a whistling kettle) on a stove that’s powered only by wood you’ve gathered from the garden or brought in from the wood-shed. Have yet to really learn how to control it, it’s an art, they tell me! But we’ve had our first pot of green tea! Next stop all the DIY to get the kitchen looking presentable… Photo will follow.

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And here are the first of the photos, though they don’t do it justice, it’s much sturdier and bigger than it looks!

halfway through the installation

and here it is

There’s a splash back with plate rack to go on. And, of course, a heap of decorating, but it’s in!

But have a read…

“The simplest way to stop all the frustration and craziness that comes with yo-yo dieting is to STOP DIETING.

If you don’t like the size or look of your body right now, the thing to do is to figure out roughly what size you’d like to be, estimate how much someone that size needs to eat and exercise to maintain their weight and health, and just start eating and exercising that way right now–as if you already were at that size. Acknowledge to yourself that this is the way you’re going to be eating and exercising from here on out. There is no “diet” to go off or on, and the only thing you have to control is your own behavior, not what the scale says or how fast your weight changes, or anything else. Your body will take care of getting itself to a “normal” weight and size–all you have to worry about is giving it what it needs, no more and no less.

In other words, you’re not someone with a “weight problem”, you’re just like everyone else–you need to match what you actually eat to what you need to eat.

If looking at things this way still makes you feel frustrated, crazed, and angry, then you’ve got a real problem, because there just isn’t any way around the consequences for eating more than you need. You don’t need to be perfect in your eating and exercise, because this is not a diet and there is no deadline. It’s just your life, and you’re free at any time to decide that, at this particular moment, you’d rather eat more and pay the price than deprive yourself of something you want. You can make the opposite decision the next time you need something to eat, and that’s fine too. No need to get upset because you’re breaking some “diet law.” But you ARE the only one who can take responsibility for deciding what you eat.

In reality, of course, things may not be quite this simple. Most of us who tend to get obsessed with losing weight, and/or have lots of emotional baggage attached to our relationship with food and eating, can’t just turn these problems “off” like a light switch. It’s going to take some work to figure out what’s really going on underneath the surface, and what to do about that. But ditching the “diet mentality” and instead, just trying to eat the way you’d be eating if you weren’t overweight will at least help you direct your attention where it needs to go–away from the scale and all the diet rules, and towards whatever is going on that makes you feel like you can’t be happy or satisfied unless and until you reach a certain weight.

I think you’ll probably find that, once you get your attention and energy focused on these “real” issues, whatever they are for you, solutions will start popping up all over the place, and the frustration and insanity will start being replaced with hopefulness and self-confidence.”

Quite a lot to take in, but it makes a lot of sense to me. I used this page

http://caloriecount.about.com/cc/calories-burned.php

to work out the calories I’d need at my “ideal” weight. I hope the link works OK if you’re not signed in to Caloriecount.

By the way “Calorie Count” http://caloriecount.about.com/ is a really useful site, takes a bit of getting used to, but it’s very tweakable so you can just use the bits you need. It’s got a really nifty page where you can type in a recipe including the number of portions and it works out the nutritional value of your recipe – ever so clever!

Anyway back to the subject – For my height, age, “ideal” weight and activity level, it says I should be eating 1800 cals a day. At the moment I’m eating around 1700 so I’m almost doing that by default now! I like the idea of saying – this is my lifestyle rather than – I’m on a diet. Might take longer to get there but it’s more sustainable than starvation! What do you think?

I know I’m being silly, as nothing has changed, but I am a bit miffed.

Trying to look upon it as a challenge to get cracking again!

Time will tell if I succeed…  

PS Weighed myself at my usual time of day and am 2lb less. So the scales are only different by 6lbs. Still 6lbs gain overnight looks bad! Having said that, I’ve been eating well and exercising, so hopefully I’ll be back down there soon!

I don’t think I’m all that highly motivated. I’m happy, I’m happy with me, with my life. I know that for the future, I’d likely be healthier if I were slimmer and fitter, but unlike a lot of overweight people, it doesn’t depress me that I am the way I am. Occasionally I’ll get a bit fed up (but don’t we all?) for a multitude of reasons, but it passes in no time. I feel fortunate to be this way and contented. It is however a little bit of a double-edged sword though as I think my contentment may hamper my motivation!

Only wish the sun was shining like in the “smileys”  

More soon…